Do You Believe Everything Happens For A Reason?

I do. But, I also believe in Karma and Destiny. Yes, I believe everything happens for a reason....even death. Not for one instance am I saying that TJ "deserved" to die...absolutely not. What I am saying is that he did very good things for a lot of people during his lifetime and his number was up. He wasted not a single minute of his life, he lived it to the fullest. Anyone that knew him will most certainly agree with me on that. He was a very generous man, more than probably most realized. He always kept cash in his gun safe and often when a close friend would be at our house lamenting about how they needed money for something I would see him walk into where his safe was and pull out $100 to $200 and simply hand it to that person. He never asked to be paid back, he only wanted to help his friend in their time of dire need. Only the recipients knew of him doing this and I know his generosity was never taken advantage of. I must admit that every time he did this it brought a tear to my eye. We were at a point in our lives that he could do that for his friends and he was happy to do it. He also gave of his time and carpentry talent. Wow, just writing this brings back a flood of memories of how much he truly gave during the 17 years I was with him.

I have endured a lot since losing TJ and I believe it too has happened for a reason. I know that many of the people that are in my life now would not be there if TJ had not died. I learned who my true friends were and more importantly I have learned who was toxic in my life. Because of TJ's illness I have become closer to both my brother and my sister. While I was busy grieving TJ, I was not there for my Mother in her final days as much as I should have been but I know she understood. My Mother was a young widow before she married my Father and her words to me after TJ died were priceless and a conversation that I will never forget. For the first time in my life I followed her advice and I so wish she was here to see that I actually listened to her. Yes Mom, you were right about everything. She understood.

When I think about how my life has changed since losing TJ I can't help but believe it happened for a reason. I have grown and changed so very much. His death has forced me to look at life in a completely different light. I appreciate the small stuff so much more. I know TJ is looking at me thinking, "Geesh Sandy, it took my death for you to finally get it!". Yes! Yes, it did. I don't wish the horrors of grief upon anyone, but for me it did wonders for my soul.

I wasn't comfortable with it, but I needed to stop, get out of my own head and see the big picture. I found out that I had been looking at things all wrong. I found new potential, new possibilities and it is liberating. What I thought was a hopeless situation suddenly looked good. I know that there is no pit too deep that I can't climb out of. Life is very simply just a bunch of stories. They all end sooner or later and that is OK. I am moving on to my next story.

I believe we don't always know or understand why things happen. Some things we may never understand why, but there is a reason even though we don't see or understand it. The universe knows and we must put our faith in that.

Am I grateful for TJ's death?....oh HELL NO! But, I can appreciate what it taught me and yes, I do believe it happened for a reason. I believe he died 7 months before my Mother so she could impart her valuable wisdom to me. I believe I needed the people who are in my life now that never would have been if not for his death. I believe I needed this to grow, to learn how to truly live.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Flowers for Leontien

Today I am participating in a very special blog event. 

Leontien Vandelaar of Four Leaf Clover Dairy is battling cancer. We want to show Leontien that her blogging community is there for her at this very difficult time by posting a flower photo for her.

{{HUGS}} to you Leontien, you are in so many people's thoughts today and always.

Link to Flowers For Leontien to join in.

Senseless Snapshots

I got this shot with my cell!

It still amazes me what we can do with our cells these days.

My Dad taught me photography with a 35mm.

Now everything is digital and "touched up".

  I frequently go through this stoplight during my work day.

It is on the Reservation.

I giggle every time it turns green.

 I spotted these in the grocery store last week.

If they are left over from last Christmas that is gross!

If they are for this coming Christmas then I am appalled!

 We finally hit 100 degrees!

I am a summer aficionado & so are my dogs.

They are waiting on my arrival so we can all spend some time in the sun.

Tater Tot loves the waterfall!

If you look carefully you will see the dove he is having a stand off with.

Tater won.....

I finally broke down and bought the most talked about book as of late.

I am fairly hard to please when it comes to erotic fiction so we will see how it stacks up.

Tater Tot ~ Still a Puppy at Heart

Just because he is so darn cute!

(turn your sound on for this one)

Thanks for visiting and I am off to read my new book. I will let you know my opinion...for what it is worth.

Life. Love. Infinite. Within You. Now. Always

A friend shared this amazing video with me and I just had to share it with all of you.


I found it very inspirational. Please let me know your thoughts.

"and if you could love enough you would be the happiest and most powerful person in the world"

Time To Take On Something New

I have to stop analyzing why I made the choices that I have in the past or where I have gone wrong. Standing right where I am at this moment in life I have to decide that I want something different and do something about it. While change can be scary, it can also be very refreshing.

I am in charge of my life. I don't have to wait for something to happen to me to make changes. Change doesn't always come from the outside. It is simply time, time to start making some new decisions. Time to change things up a bit.

I find it empowering to take on a new challenge or a new habit. Making a new decision can be very refreshing. I am not just taking on a new activity. I am taking on my life. I know that what I have to look forward to is much greater than what I am leaving behind.

It is easy to believe I have no more chances and to not take responsibility for creating a world as I want it. Sure, there are things that I cannot control, but I also know I am very powerful and can accomplish a lot once I am willing to make a decision and take a chance.

Over the past few years I have proven to myself that I can transform hardship into growth and loss into gain. When I am faced with a stressful situation I simply remember that how I handle it not only shapes today, but it shapes tomorrow also.

"A diamond is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well." ~ Unknown

Standing Up Again....

"Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day." ~ Henri Nouwen

Yeah, well, I haven't been very good at the above lately. As you all know I have been suspiciously missing from twitter and blogging. Many, many thanks to those of you who called or emailed to check on me.

I took another hit, but this time I choose to not complain publicly about it. I drew inward and worked it out in my head. I choose the old adage "if you don't have anything good to say then don't say anything at all".

But, with a smile on my face, I can honestly say that I am back and I can't wait to see what my wonderful blogging friends have been up to. I am afraid to jinx it, but with extreme caution I will say that once again my life is pretty darn good.

I have even managed to stumble upon some very unexpected joy in my life (no, I have not adopted another dog!). I took a leap of faith and said “yes” to something I wasn’t sure about. I am still not sure. I can tell you though that unexpected joy is sometimes the most satisfying.

“Our brightest blazes of gladness are commonly kindled by unexpected sparks”. ~ Samuel Johnson

My Love Of Horses

I don't remember not loving horses. I think I inherited that love from my Mother. She was a talented and accomplished horsewoman. It was a man named Mr. Call that cultivated it though. It was Mr. Call that put me on my first horse.

I remember that day as if it was yesterday.

Mr. Call had led a horse up to the house. I was under the age of 5 and to me that horse was the tallest, most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Mr. Call called my name to come over to him and the big horse. I was frozen but my father put his hand on my back and gave me a little shove. This was the first of many times that my Father would do this throughout my life.....literally and figuratively. The horse didn't have a saddle on, he was wearing only a halter and lead rope. Mr. Call swiftly hoisted me up and onto the horse's back. I will never forget the softness of his coat and how warm his body felt between my legs. Mr. Call pushed my little body high up on the horse's withers and instructed me to hold on to the mane with one hand only.  He then grabbed my thighs and told me my thighs and my hand was what I was to use to stay on. "Don't touch him with your other hand or your feet", he instructed. I cautiously looked at my Father, he gave me a nod and a wink. With my Father's approval I was ready. Mr. Call began by slowly leading the horse all around the yard. I was in heaven.  Because I was bareback I could feel every step, and it wasn't long before I felt as though the horse and I were in complete sync. I honestly felt like we were one, moving in unison. I was happy and comfortable high up on the horse. I began to relax more and more. It was that day that I learned the view of the world is completely different when atop a horse. I was in my own world up there. "Pay attention! Never let your guard down Sandy!", I heard Mr. Call say. At that moment he made a clicking sound with his mouth and the horse took off in a trot. My little body began bouncing wildly on the horse's back and I grabbed the mane with my free hand. I was scared that I was going to fall off.  I yelled to Mr. Call to stop. "I told you how to hang on, now do it!" he said. I pleadingly looked to my Father to rescue me, he simply smiled. Mr. Call wouldn't stop the horse and my Father was not going to help me. I remembered what Mr. Call had told me about holding on, I let go of the mane with my second hand and began to grip with my thighs. Before I knew it I was once again one with the horse. No sooner had I become comfortable at a trot than Mr. Call stopped the horse, grabbed me and swung me to the ground. He looked at my father and said, "She's a natural". I had no idea what that meant at the time, but I was happy and that began the first of many days I would spend with Mr. Call learning and soaking all the information in that I could.

Mr. Call passed before I was 10, but I often think of him when I mount a horse. I may have inherited my love of horses from my Mom, but it was him that taught me what they now call "Natural Horsemanship". At that time, it was just called learning how to ride.

 My Father with Cookie Bars (circa 1980)

My Mom & I getting ready to ride on the beach in Mexico. She had always wanted to ride a horse on the beach and finally was able to do so. The guide even let us break from the group and gallop down the beach, just her and I. A memory I will never forget. (circa 1984 or so)