Wedding Anniversay

TJ and I were together for 16 years, but we were only married for the last 5 months of his life.  I never saw a reason for us to marry.  We were committed to each other and a piece of paper wasn't going to make a difference.  But, when we were faced with his mortality all that changed.  TJ in no way wanted his family to be able to take anything from me.  He knew his family, including his kids, would be a problem and he wanted to ensure that they could not touch a thing we had spent so many years working for.  He had wanted to marry for years and I didn't, but when he said to me, "Please marry me before I die." I just could not say no any longer.

Our friends put together a beautiful wedding for us at a friend's house with the Superstition Mountains in the background and provided all the food, table decorations and a wedding cake.  My brother paid for the minister and my sister paid for a photographer.  Since TJ wasn't working and going through cancer treatments we were broke, but thanks to our friends and my family we were able to have a wedding we were proud of.  We were married on May 30, 2009.

This is a link to the wedding video our photographer put together for us: http://secure.smilebox.com/ecom/openTheBox?sendevent=4d5441784d7a4d334d5456384d6a41324d6a55324d7a6b3d0d0a&sb=1

Neither TJ nor I are religious so we opted for a non traditional "minister" as well as a non traditional ceremony.  Most importatly, we did not want to say "until death do we part".  We already knew that was going to happen.

Happy Anniversary TJ.  I will always love you and will forever carry you in my heart.

Wedding Ceremony:

On behalf of Sandy and TJ, I'd like to welcome you all and thank you for being here to share in this happy occasion.

A wedding ceremony is an outward form. To be true, it must be a symbol of something inner and real: a sacred personal union which nature might mirror, a church can solemnize, or a state may declare legal for some, but which only love can create and mutual loyalty fulfill.

To last, a marriage should be a consecration of each person to the other, and of both to the wider community of which they are a part. Because TJ and Sandy feel a great closeness and respect for all of you here, they chose each of you to witness their vows today. Marriage is an intensely personal act, but, in order for the couple's marriage to gain strength to last throughout the years, their union must be supported by their greater society of family and friends.

In this spirit, Sandy and TJ ask all of you now: do you support their marriage and accept the new partner into your life as family and a friend of your own?

Guests: We do.

Thank you all. Now, TJ and Sandy, marriage is a serious and lifelong commitment. The vows you make today should not be made lightly or without forethought. Are you prepared to enter into this solemn covenant?

Sandy and TJ: We are.

Minister: The German poet Rainer Maria Rilke wrote of marriage extensively in his letters. His words fit here:

For one human being to love another human being: that is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us, the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation.

Marriage naturally combines the strengths and wills of two people so that, together they seem to reach farther into the future than they did before. Above all, marriage is a new task and a new seriousness -- a new demand on the strength and generosity of each partner.

Love is an opportunity for the individual to ripen, to become something in yourself, to become world, to become world in yourself for the sake of another person; it is a great, demanding claim on a person, something that chooses you and you are blessed by being a part of it.

Vows:

TJ and Sandy, as you exchange vows today; you are declaring your intent to live together in love for all your days. With this in mind,

I take you Sandy to be my wife, lover and best friend and these things I promise to you:

I will be faithful to you and honest with you,

I will respect, trust, help and care for you,

I will share my life with you

I will share with you everything that is to come throughout the rest of our lives together.

I take you TJ to be my husband, lover and best friend and these things I promise to you:

I will be faithful to you and honest with you

I will respect, trust, help and care for you

I will share my life with you

I will share with you everything that is to come throughout the rest of our lives together.

As Sandy and TJ have exchanged vows, they are not only joining together as partners, but also creating a new family, of which they will be the heart.

Rings:

May I have the rings? These rings are circles, unbroken, just as your love is unbroken and complete for each other. May the love between you grow and strengthen through all the years it would take to travel around your rings and come to their ends.

TJ: With this ring, I give you the promise that from this day forward you shall never walk alone. My heart will be your shelter; my arms will be your home. We will walk together through life as partners and best friends.

Sandy: With this ring, I give you the promise that from this day forward you shall never walk alone. My heart will be your shelter; my arms will be your home. We will walk together through life as partners and best friends.

Sandy and TJ, having witnessed your vows for marriage, and by the authority vested in me, I announce with great joy that you are husband and wife.

You may kiss your bride.

Apache Marriage Blessing:

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter for each other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth for the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before. Go now to your dwelling place to enter into the days of your life together. And may your days be good and long upon the earth.