Tuesday, April 16, 2013 my dear, dear Mickey passed away. She was in my living room and Tater and I sat with her until the end. I have been in an extremely bad and dark place since.
I knew that losing her was going to hurt. I just had no idea how badly it would hurt. It not only hurt, it made me angry. To everyone else I lost a dog, but for me losing her truly marked the end of my life with TJ. Every animal we had together is gone now. I only have my memories left. I have nothing tangible from that part of my life. I knew nobody would understand so, once again, I kept my feelings to myself. I have spent the 2 weeks since her death grieving the loss of my past life. I went back to that place I was right after TJ died. I had forgotten how deep the pain of grief runs.
I always thought her eyes were so bright and full of life and expression.
She outlived the wonderful puppy that she gave me, Okie
This is my favorite picture of Mickey. She was a dog that was always up for an adventure and loved riding in the jeep down at "The Shack".
It has been 2 weeks and I think it is time to pull myself out of that abyss of grief. I can't let myself stay there any longer. I simply will not allow it. I don't want to be there again. My life is pretty darn good right now. I can't complain really. This needs to be simply a minor set back. One that I was completely expecting even! I have used this quote before but it is one I really relate to.
No louder shrieks to pitying heaven are cast, when husbands or lap-dogs breathe their last. ~ Alexander Pope
No louder shrieks to pitying heaven are cast, when husbands or lap-dogs breathe their last. ~ Alexander Pope
Oh Sandy HUGS I have a few words that I wish would take your hurt away. I have no idea how you feel but do know you are not alone. Mickey was beautiful and I like to think my animals that I love and the people that I love who have passed on are all together waiting for me and watching my life continue to go on happily without them.We owe them a good show. HUGS B
ReplyDeleteOh Sandy....I'm so sorry this has happened in your life. Our pets are our families and we value those relationships so very much. I can only imagine the depth of your sadness.
ReplyDeleteHugs and prayers are being sent your way.
xo
Jo
Sandy, don't for a minute think that we don't notice when you don't post to your blog and that some of us (me) really worry about you and hope nothing else bad has happened. All your blogger friends care so much about you and understand what losing Mickey means to you. I'm sending lots of hugs and good thoughts your way and I'm so glad you have your little Tater Tot to cuddle with.
ReplyDeleteBig, big {{HUGS}} to you Sandy!
ReplyDeleteI understand!
ReplyDeleteWhile my cat didn't die, when I had to give him to a new home to make way for my "new" life with Dave, I felt a deep mourning. I sobbed many times over it, over that last tangible part of our life together, as you said. Neither of us have our homes with our late spouses, neither of us have children, all of our pets have gone on from us that we had together - I'm down to simply a box of our stuff together, as I know you are too. It's so difficult. My thoughts and love and hugs are with you Sandy.
ReplyDeleteOur aniamls are part of us and when one passes over the rainbow bridge, there goes your buddy that has been through so much with you. It is so heart wrenching, especially for someone "letting go" and starting a new chapter in their life. Just know we understand, and I wish you strength. That little cattle dog family you had were very special. The quote you posted is so true!
ReplyDeleteSandy,
ReplyDeleteI am so, so sorry. I know how much all of your animals have meant to you, and how they have been real parts of your family. My heart is with you in the desert today. If there is a heaven for pets, then yours are running free in a vast playground of sand and sun, where warm breezes blow and there is always a pool to sit by.
Feel better soon, my friend.
Greg
Sandy, I'm so so so sorry you lost Mickey and all that she represents. I can't pretend to have walked in your shoes, but something in me thinks I understood, and I hurt for you. I'm glad that you are pulling yourself out of the darkness though You were made for the light.
ReplyDelete*sigh* Wishing only good things for you now my friend. xo
ReplyDelete--Sandy,
ReplyDeletesending you warm tight hugs.
So sorry, dear.
He was BEAUTIFUL and now he is in the arms of TJ once again.
Sandy, I am so very sorry. Just today I was thinking of losing my last two dogs that Dave and I had...it's going to be a terrible day when that happens. My heart breaks for you.
ReplyDeleteOh I am so sorry to hear this. Such a beautiful dog. I know you must miss her.
ReplyDeleteSandy, I have been thinking of you and I hope you are doing OK. This was such a sad post and I hope you will come back to let us know how you are. I care and I know many other blogger friends do as well. Take care my friend. ~ Inger
ReplyDelete