My life changed dramatically and forever when I lost TJ.

I welcome you to follow along as I adjust to my "new normal".

It is not all puppies and ice cream but it is my life....real and honest.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Life in a Small Town

As most of you know I live in Apache Junction, AZ and it is a fairly small town. I fell in love with this town years ago and when I moved back to AZ in 1994 I knew this was where I wanted to settle. I had to get an apartment in the neighboring town of Mesa because at the time I had a black lab and couldn't find anything in AJ that would allow my dog. I moved here in May of 1994 and met TJ in December of that year. Well, in 1995 when my lease was up TJ was living with me and I informed him that I was moving to AJ. He didn't want to live here at first but came with me anyway and fell in love with the town too.

There are ups and downs to living in a small town. I have met wonderful people here that have become the best friends anyone could ask for. People in a small town will band together like no others to help anyone with anything. When TJ got sick people came out of the woodwork to help us & when I moved I had more help than I needed. The emotional support is there also.

When TJ was diagnosed he asked me where I was going to move to when he was gone. I said, "I am not going anywhere....I am staying right here in good ole' Apache Junction!!"

Although I love it here I have been under intense scrutiny since TJ passed away. What house did she buy?....who has been over there helping her (mostly referring to the males that helped me)?.... how many times has he been there? something going on between them?....I saw her talking to A, B & C at the bar is she seeing one of them? FOR GOOD GRIEF PEOPLE! GET A LIFE OTHER THAN MINE!!! I am not the one that died and it is OK for me to continue with my life. Oh, and yes, I have male friends that have helped this a crime?

The way I see it we tend to separate people into groups because it is safe and simple. By doing this we know what to expect of them and it is therefore easier to interact with them. I now don't fit into any predetermined group and it obviously throws many people off.

I am guilty of this too but as I think about it I find it sad that we categorize people in this manner. These preconceived ideas about how a person should behave do not allow us to really get to know each as an individual. We are too busy trying to put them in the box we perceive them to belong in. When TJ died nobody had a box for me and I think the scrutiny comes from trying to find out which box to put me in now.

Not very long ago I had a friend, who was not happy with me at the moment, say to me, "tell my why we are friends?" At the time I just laughed but I want to be able to sincerely answer that question at the drop of a hat about all my friends and that will require getting to know many of my friends all over again.

I have decided to dump all my friends out of the little boxes I have put them in and focus on them as individuals. Each and everyone of them has come into my life for a reason and I know in time that reason will surface. Some I already know why they are in my life but others I have yet to discover the true meaning of our friendship.

Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest...It is about who came and never left your side.

1 comment:

  1. I always light up a bit when I see you have posted again, Sandy! I often wonder how you are getting along.
    Lovely post. I know what it's like to be a single lady in a small town. It always amused me that everyone thought I was having a lot more fun than I actually was!


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