I had a conversation late last night with a widower friend of mine on twitter. We started out by talking about the insomnia that so many of us have, but it quickly turned to a discussion of moving on. What he said to me has stuck in my head and I wanted to share. I have chosen to keep him anomyous as I do not know if he would want me to reveal his identity. His series of tweets was as follows:
It changed for me, when I changed my thinking from the "moving forward" to the ability "letting go". I know it sounds strange, but inside of me I always had a dislike for "moving forward". It was like betrayal for me. Then I realized, that I was afraid to let her go, because I thought I would loose her. I was so wrong, because one never looses the loved one in memories and heart. That started the change.
All day I thought about the difference between moving forward and letting go. I, like my friend, am afraid to let TJ go. He was a part of my life for 16 years and I am not willing to let him go. Moving forward though, to me, means leaving TJ behind. I can't do that either, he will always be in my heart. So, instead of always thinking I need to move forward/on I am going to try to change my thinking to letting go.
I feel I need to make room in my life for the new and let go of the old. I believe that if I stay open to new experiences and relationships I have much to gain after my loss. Happiness turned to sadness, but sadness will turn to happiness again. Every day I become more and more optimistic about my future and I can't let what has happened in the past close my mind to the possibilities of the new. I will not move forward, leaving TJ behind, instead, I will try to begin to let go of the past and carry him with me, in my heart, as I experience the many good things that are still to come in my life.
Letting go isn't the end of the world; it is the beginning of a new life. ~ Unknown