My life changed dramatically and forever when I lost TJ.

I welcome you to follow along as I adjust to my "new normal".

It is not all puppies and ice cream but it is my life....real and honest.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Self Doubt

As I begin to think about and write down my goals and plans for my future, as I promised myself for my birthday, I am finding that I doubt myself.  This is new to me as I never doubted myself in the past.  I may not have always made the right decisions, but the decisions I made were not without conviction.  That has all changed now. I find that as I think of future plans and goals I wonder if I can really achieve them.  I know now why I have been stuck at this fork in the road for almost 2 years.  I am paralyzed because of self doubt.

I doubt my knowledge.  Do I really know enough to let go of my past?  Can I make good choices now that I am so afraid of what the future might hold?  Are my instincts what they used to be? I don't know the answer to these questions and that is why I am still here. Still standing at the fork in the road, still stagnant, and doubtful as to which route to take.  I find it easier to not choose at all.  In my heart I know that there is no such thing as a "wrong" choice.  At this point the only "wrong" choice I can make is no choice at all.

Somewhere inside of me is the will to choose a path.  I know I can and I know I will.  I may not know the answers today, but they are within me.  All I need to do is step back, look at my life objectively and take that single bold step in the direction of my future.  I will no longer give power to my self doubt.


  1. Sounds overwhelming. Maybe you'd feel better starting with several smaller goals that lead up to a bigger goal. Like they tell people to do with weight loss - start small - so instead of saying I'm going to lose 100 pounds to get to my goal weight - it's I'm going to lose 10 pounds, then reassess and set a new goal.

    I know you can do whatever you set your mind to, Sandy :-)

  2. --Sandy,
    with all that you have gone thru, this is completely normal to feel unsure. I love that you are making goals for the future...I am finding this quite difficult after Kay. You Inspire Me. Happy Late Birthday. :)) xxx

  3. Sandy, Just wanted to let you know I dropped by! Thank you for your comment on my blog, and I see we have a lot in common...I lost my husband to cancer Sept 09 and I was his caregiver for the last years of his life. thank you for your comment dear lady, and in October...I'll be thinking of you this year. "happy" second birthday, may both of our next years be better than the last two *huggles*

  4. Tell that self doubt to kiss off, Sandy. You can do it!


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