My life changed dramatically and forever when I lost TJ.

I welcome you to follow along as I adjust to my "new normal".

It is not all puppies and ice cream but it is my life....real and honest.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Land Mines

Some days I feel like my life has been a series of self implosions. Every time I get in sight of something I really want I throw a landmine in my path to ensure I never achieve it. I can think of numerous times that I have not gotten what I wanted or achieved a goal simply because of my own doing. More often than not TJ was there to diffuse the landmines that I threw down. He was my own personal bomb squad. I don't have that anymore. I need to learn to avoid my own landmines and to believe that I really deserve some of the things I want.

Everyone has failures in life. Ultimately, all of us fail at one time or another. I like to believe that I shed my failures like a rain coat. Once a self planted landmine explodes I move forward only to encounter the next one I have set for myself. I get out of bed day after god awful day and expect things to just miraculously work out. No, I truly believe that they are going to work out, even though it seems that they never do. I simply refuse to accept failure after failure as a part of my life.

I have heard it said that the standard by which we are measured lies in our response to our failures. Although, it is my belief that you haven't actually failed until you quit. I have not and will not quit. Not yet and probably not ever!

"If I had to select one quality, one personal characteristic that I regard as being most highly correlated with success, whatever the field, I would pick the trait of persistence. Determination. The will to endure to the end, to get knocked down seventy times and get up off the floor saying, "Here comes number seventy-one!" ~ Richard M. DeVos


  1. A lot of people do this. Actually, when I used to work juvenile probation, I wouldn't tell a kid right before I released them from probation, because more often than not if I did he'd go out and do something stupid to wind up in court again. I think sometimes we all have a bit of fear about success...

  2. i'm not certain which situation is worse - having no one to blame but yourself or putting the blame on someone else that you think is in your way...

  3. Sandy, I do the same thing. Every morning I wake up with a mental list of all the household chores I'm going to do and the time frame in which to complete them so that I can get out of the house and do other fun things. But no, I wake up, get on this damn computer and before I know it, I've wasted eight hours just being on fb and playing stupid games. Then I am totally irritated with myself and wonder why I always do that.
    I've become a lazy, unmotivated person who sits and daydreams all the time. Ugh! I really need a good kick in the ass.

  4. You are preaching to the choir, Sandy.

    I've tried so many ventures that fell flat with no reward. But I keep trying. That's all any of us can do. :)

  5. I understand what you mean with this post. I'm always beating myself up when I have trouble writing, but luckily, my loved ones know how I get and they always help me out :)

  6. **you haven't actually failed until you quit**

    You said a mouthful there, Sandy <3 Xx

    1. Absolutely! Sometimes when we face a loss we check out. It takes a lot of crazy courage to get ourselves up and keep ourselves going.

  7. Hi Sandy......I think we all create land mines for ourselves.....and you have put it so very well by saying we simply must just push aside the rubble and begin putting one foot in front of the other.....Things do work out in the end.....maybe not EXACTLY like we had wanted them...but it is usually what we need at the time. I once read a saying that went something like this "if you don't like the landscape that lies ahead of you.....begin seeing it with new eyes." Sounds like you are doing just that.



  8. Lots to think about...I actually read the post three times....

  9. I absolutely love how you call TJ your personal bomb squad!

  10. Perserverence (sp!), tenacity. You go girl.


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