Most of the time when seeking advice we already know the answer. We generally only seek advice for permission to trust our instincts. I have stopped that and have begun making choices for myself. I have learned to take a step back and look at things objectively, make a choice, and stick with it.
I think the main reason for this is that I don't have TJ to bounce ideas off of anymore and I don't want to burden my friends with what may seem to them a somewhat minor decision. I must admit that I do "channel" TJ, or at least think to myself, "what would TJ do", especially when it comes to home projects.
Making any decision affects change and sometimes it can be scary to be solely responsible for that change. Often I don't know what the aftermath of a decision will be or if I will be able to deal with the aftermath on my own. I have learned that I need to trust my decisions and not second guess myself.
I am learning. Yes, I have made some bad decisions, but I have learned from those decisions and I know what I would do differently the next time. I have become comfortable with making mistakes. I know that sounds awful, but I used to hate it and berate myself for making mistakes. I now accept mistakes with grace and gratitude for the learning opportunity. I know I made the best decision possible with the knowledge and information I had available.
I read once, "Life is a hard hat zone. We are always under construction". I know, for me, I have undergone a major renovation over the past few years. Much of me is better than before and parts are still a work in progress. I am at peace with that. Every day I get up and put one foot in front of the other, slowly moving forward, and on some days, just that is an accomplishment in and of itself.