My life changed dramatically and forever when I lost TJ.

I welcome you to follow along as I adjust to my "new normal".

It is not all puppies and ice cream but it is my life....real and honest.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

I Thought It Would Be A Difficult Night For Me

Wrong!!!! My sister and her friend sprung Mom from the nursing home and brought her to my house for Christmas Eve dinner. My family has never been big on family get togethers on any holiday and we never had big Christmas celebrations. Tonight reminded me of why.

Mom has been in a nursing home for over 3 years now and is really going downhill in her health. She is having a much more difficult time transferring from her wheelchair and now seems very out of touch with reality.

Tonight during dinner she made a very nasty comment to my sister. I can blow these things off and attribute it to old age but it made my sister livid. As I looked across the table at my sister (who I know very well and am very close to) I could see the string of curse words forming in her head. I immediately said "no...stop it", her friend said "it is Christmas!" My sister scaled back her rebuttal but still told Mom how she felt. I am just glad that it was scaled back although I don't even think Mom realised what my sister had just said to her.

All families argue and are different. TJ's family was totally fake nice to your face and stabbed you in the back as soon as you walked out the front door, my family lets you know how they feel up front and sometimes it isn't pretty. Holidays with his family were just miserable but I suppose it would be miserable for an outsider to spend a holiday with my family. TJ and I usually tried to leave town at Christmas so we didn't have to be with either family and could just be alone at our property down south.

I thought tonight would be a difficult night for me
but after that exchange at dinner I am fine....I am grateful for the peace and quiet.....kinda like what TJ and I would have on Christmas eve at the property. Tomorrow I will be spending the day with friends, my sister will be spending her day with friends also and Mom will be back in her safety zone, it should be a good day for everyone.



  1. Sounds like you had a nice Christmas well pretty good anyway. :).

    Loved the pictures of TJ you put on. That is a good way to remeber him. With that big smile and then the ones with the dog were great.

  2. I sure like your last line ... LIFE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT TO BE WONDERFUL!

    I agree.

  3. Sandy, Hi, it's Kelley Adamson McEwan. I have been following your Blog since Melinda told Leslie and I about you and TJ getting married. Wonderful pictures and such a great Blog you have created. I am so sorry for your loss, it sounds like you and TJ had a true love for one another. Leslie and I have been talking and we want to come out for a visit. We're looking and waiting for Southwest to offer some deals to Phoenix. In the meantime, I would love it if you could contact me at with emails and phone #'s. Thanks!


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