My life changed dramatically and forever when I lost TJ.

I welcome you to follow along as I adjust to my "new normal".

It is not all puppies and ice cream but it is my life....real and honest.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Stop And Smell The Roses

Even though the title is cliche and many of us hear it from time to time, I am going to guess that the majority of us don't actually do it. I know I don't or at least I haven't in the past.

Last week I took Thursday and Friday off work to get some home improvement projects done around the house and clean out and organize my garage.  On my way home from work on Wednesday I stopped and got all the materials I would need for the weekend so I wouldn't have to take the time to drive to town for anything.  Once home I made a list of all the projects I wanted to complete and divided them into 3 days; planning to rest on Sunday.  I packed the majority of the projects into Thursday and Friday.  My plan was to work 12 to 16 hour days on both of those days and then have a light day on Saturday.

By Saturday morning I was completely exhausted.  I had managed to stick to my schedule by working feverishly.  While I somewhat enjoyed accomplishing things it was mostly about sticking to my schedule.  The first thing on my list for Saturday morning was to repair the goat pen fence.  As I was drinking coffee I was getting worked up knowing this was a time consuming project, but one that really needed to get done.  I was cursing the fact that it was going to take up so much of my morning.

As I was sitting uncomfortably on rocks, surrounded by goat poo and chasing the girls away from my tools I looked up and realized the sun had just popped over the top of the Superstition Mountains.  What a beautiful sight, I thought to myself. I paused for a few minutes to enjoy the beauty of the mountain that made me fall in love with Arizona back in the early 80's. I smiled. I remembered how much TJ loved those mountains also. I smiled again. I went back to fixing fence.  A bit later I heard some rustling coming from the wash that runs through my property. It was a group of coyotes.  I paused as they passed a mere 15 feet from me, looking at me warily.  I then watched them wander off into the desert. I smiled again. It wasn't long before a covey of quail ran by cooing ever so softly and then a very small rabbit hopped up and just stared at me. I once again paused and focused on his deep eyes and his soft fur.  Before I knew it I was done fixing fence. One more time I paused and looked around me.  I thought about how lucky I am to live where I live. I thought about how grateful I am and how many things I have to be grateful for. I said out loud "I have a pretty damn good life!"

Yes, it took me longer to fix the fence than I had anticipated, but it was worth it.  Down the road I won't remember that I fixed the fence in my self imposed time frame. I will remember the sun coming over the Superstitions, the coyotes and the other wildlife that stopped by.  The rest of my Saturday was better for it.

"Every day brings a choice: to practice stress or to practice peace." ~ Joan Borysenko


  1. Sandy, this was just lovely! I admire your work ethic, but I love your honesty and your view of life. You are unique and passionate about your life and it comes through in your writing. Very much enjoyed this post! Thank you for sharing, my friend.

  2. Sandy

    I love this one. Beautiful place to live and grieve and heal.


  3. ---Sandy,
    You inspire me.

    I've been finding it quite difficult to be thankful for anything after Kay's murder.

    You are amazing. X
    love the song by Stevie Nicks

  4. An inspiring post, Sandy. I admire anyone who can stick to a schedule! I sometimes think I spend far too much time smelling the roses instead of getting on with things! How wonderful that you accomplished what you set out to do whilst still enjoying the beauty around you!

  5. Sounds like you found a way to be completely present in the moment, and leave the negative behind. Love it!

  6. what a beautiful reminder to pause once in a while. thank you for sharing your day... and thanks for finding my blog and leaving a comment! i really appreciate it!

  7. It's so good to know you are smiling. Those same animals show up here too, but not all in the same morning. When things like that happen we have no choice but to stop and smell the roses. And you know what....when you get to be my age, you can't work that hard and breaks, smelling of roses, and observing nature and animals become mandatory. I am so glad to be back, visiting with all my friends again.


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