My life changed dramatically and forever when I lost TJ.

I welcome you to follow along as I adjust to my "new normal".

It is not all puppies and ice cream but it is my life....real and honest.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Are You A Planner?

I am a planner. I like to know what is going on in my life on a daily basis and I don't like things to change. I get up at the same time everyday during the week. I go to bed at about the same time every night. I have a specific routine in the morning that I rarely waiver from. I know in advance what I am doing every evening after work. Please do not call on me to do anything "spur of the moment". Chances are good that I already have my day mapped out and to make changes throws me into a tailspin. Even canceling plans throws me off. A cancellation means I suddenly have spare time that I wasn't counting on and consequently I don't know what to do with that extra time.

Because I am such an avid planner I don't like surprises. I do like unexpected gifts, but don't put me in a car and not tell me where we are going. It doesn't matter how grand the surprise at the end, the stress of the unknown is just not worth it to me.

Many years ago TJ planned a surprise birthday party for me down at "The Shack". While we often had friends down there with us, there were many times we would go alone. Those alone times were very special to the both of us. It was those alone weekends that we would reconnect, rekindle our relationship and recharge our batteries. The year he planned the surprise party I had told him that for my birthday I wanted to go to the shack with just us, the horses, and the dogs. Off we went for an extended 4 day birthday weekend down south. Because we are in the foothills of the Dragoon mountains we can see traffic coming down the mostly untraveled dirt road for miles. We had not been at the shack very long when TJ said to me, knowing how I hate surprises, "I have to tell you something". As he said this he turned my back to the south so I could not see the incoming traffic. He proceeded to spill the beans, telling me everyone that was coming and at the same time apologizing for not telling me. The first words out of my mouth were, "I didn't bring enough food to feed that many people!!" He laughed and told me they were all bringing their own food and I did not have to cook for them. I ultimately had a wonderful birthday weekend with many good friends willing to drive 4 hours hauling horses to celebrate with me. Although, I have to admit that I am glad he spilled the beans before the trucks and trailers started rolling in.

What about you? Are you a planner or do you like surprises?

"Dreams, ideas, and plans not only are an escape, they give me purpose, a reason to hang on." ~ Unknown


  1. i do not like surprises. my husband has planned surprise birthday parties and surprise birthday guests. i do not like surprises.

  2. I am a planner but I do not follow a specific daily routine. I like to know what is on the agenda for the day etc. I find it hard to wing it and leave things to the last minute!

  3. I am very much a planner; however, I absolutely love surprises. Well, let me rephrase that. I love Good surprises. That's better. Surprise parties, receiving flowers just because, candlelit dinners on a non-special day. Just love 'em! I do a lot of planning the rest of my time, though. I have to, with all that's going on these days.
    Enjoyed the post, Sandy! Thanks for sharing.

  4. Oh dear, I almost feel guilty for not being a planner. Everything sounds so organised in the lives of planners. I admire it but it would drive me nuts! Lucky it's not important that we are all the same, huh?

  5. LOL, a sweet story! I am a planner too.

  6. I am a serious planner, however, my dear hubby equals planning with worrying!!! So I've had to learn to roll with it.

  7. Haaaa, T J's Intentions were GOoooOD!

    btw, i would NEVER want a surprise party...unless I got to pick the people to come... I am quite fussy who I spend time with!

    Xxx Kisses for you, Dearest.

  8. I like plans as well, but surprises can be good. I hope you can enjoy surprises again soon, maybe with someone special?

  9. I totally could have written this - I have a totally co-dependent relationship with my calendar. I do not do surprises!

  10. I'm learning to like the surprises and roll better with a lack of planning. I was a HUGE planner and even forced things that maybe shouldn't have been because I had a "plan". Life can change that, as you know. Also being diabetic I need to have some structure in my days but I think I am flowing better with not planning every single minute. Pretty sure I'm refocusing that "planning" on being "prepared" for anything :D

  11. I am certainly a planner but surprises like yours would make me happy for sure. A planner needs to just let go of control sometimes to really enjoy life. B


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