My life changed dramatically and forever when I lost TJ.

I welcome you to follow along as I adjust to my "new normal".

It is not all puppies and ice cream but it is my life....real and honest.

Monday, February 25, 2013

He Talks With Me About TJ

He is my friend and he was TJ's friend. Most have no idea that he and TJ were good friends and most don't know that he and I have become such good friends. He commiserated with me when I called to tell him of TJ's diagnosis and prognosis. He was the first of many to say "he is such a good man and he doesn't deserve this!".

Although he didn't have the opportunity to come visit TJ before he died; he often called me to see how he was. He came to TJ's Memorial Service at the house. He stopped by a few times after TJ died to help me with some things. Over the past 3 1/2 years he has sent me many random text messages to make me smile or laugh. 

He calls me and we talk about TJ. I don't usually like to talk on the phone but when I am talking with him about TJ time flies and before I know it hours have passed by. He is not afraid to ask me the tough questions. He wants to know how it was for TJ at the end. I tell him. He knows every last heart wrenching detail. He is not afraid to laugh with me about some of TJ's ridiculous shenanigans.He tells me how often he thinks of TJ. While so many others will barely utter TJ's name in my presence it is our main topic of conversation.

We rarely see each other in person. Sure, we always talk about getting together but our schedules just don't permit it. But it is our phone calls that I look forward to the most. In those first few months after TJ died it was him that was able to lift me up with a phone call. Even now, on those rare occasions that I am having a bad day, I know it is his number that I must dial, yet I often don't have to as he always seems to call just when I need him the most. His compassion for my plight was unparalleled and still is to this very day. Ours was an unexpected friendship and one that I cherish deeply.

"We cannot tell the exact moment a friendship is formed; as in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses, there is at last one that makes the heart run over." ~ Gloria Naylor


  1. this made my eyes fill with tears. what a wonderful soul and heart connection...

  2. My eyes filled with tears too as they always do when you write about TJ. I am so happy to hear about this very special friendship.

    I also read your previous post, which was very interesting. But best of all, you can soon get set up for horses. Moving forward toward something you will truly enjoy. So tears and happiness ~ life, I guess.

  3. you are so very fortunate to have such a friend. wishing you all the best that life can bring.

  4. What a lovely post! I'm glad you have such a good friend to help you cope.

  5. I am so thankful you have this amazing friendship.

  6. Oh you made me cry that is true friendship. Hope he is alright. B

  7. Watch your emotions my friend. Be careful. xo

  8. a true friend is a rare thing these days..
    you are very fortunate to have such a friend.

    great post, dear sandy!

    wishing you a wonderful weekend~

    big hugs!

  9. Sandy,
    what a blessing. I LOVE that you have somebody to talk with in a raw, honest way. Beautiful.


  10. Wow, what a special friend. So glad the two of you have each other!!

  11. It's wonderful when there are people who will talk to us about our loved ones gone ahead. As time goes by, those people become fewer and fewer.


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