My life changed dramatically and forever when I lost TJ.

I welcome you to follow along as I adjust to my "new normal".

It is not all puppies and ice cream but it is my life....real and honest.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

The Beginning

Where to start? I am guessing that most of you reading this in the beginning will already know mine and TJ's history but for those of you that don't I think it is relevant to give a brief history. We met on December 15, 1994 and have been together ever since. Like most couples we have had our tough times but even as many times as we threatened to throw in the towel (and believe me that was more frequent than I care to recall) we always ended up back together. I think it was because we had too much in common. Even with all we had in common in the beginning that has fallen by the wayside over the past years and yet we still stayed together and pursued different interests and friends.

Well, I am here to tell you that everything changed for us and our relationship on Friday, March 13, 2009. Yep, you read that right.....Friday The 13th!!!! That week TJ had been having headaches and had been to our family physician twice when Dr. Edwards made the decision to have TJ get an MRI on his head. He scheduled it for Friday at 10:00 a.m. We really did not think much of it. TJ took off work and I went to work. But, at 1:00 p.m. that Friday I received a phone call at work from TJ telling me to come home and pick him up and take him to the hospital, he has a bag packed as they will be keeping him..."they found a bunch of lesions on my brain". I work about 30 minutes from the house but it now suddenly seemed like hours to get home to him. I, like him, knew our lives were about to change forever and we both had the feeling it was not for the better. When I got home he asked if before we left we could sit at the kitchen table and drink a beer as he might not get to do that for quite a while. So, there we sat, in total silence, drinking a beer, and both of us scared out of our minds.

At the hospital we found out he had a spot on his lung and 20 brain lesions (10 on each side). They kept him overnight. The prognosis was not good from the Oncologist. That was the beginning of the journey we are on now. He was only in the hospital 3 days. Once released they started radiation on his brain for 3 weeks. After that they gave him a couple weeks off and then started Chemo for his lung. It has been a crazy ride for us, living with him on steroids and very hyper to being wiped out from the Neulasta shot and Chemo; from eating like a horse to me begging him to eat anything just to keep his strength up.
So, like I already said, I thought our relationship was strong but this has made it bullet proof. Nobody and nothing else matters when you are faced with this. Sure, we both have fantastic friends to lean on and family to talk to, but we live this reality every day, every minute and until you have walked in our shoes there is no way you can understand. My one wish for each and every one of you that read this is that you will never have to walk in my shoes, but more importantly I hope none of you ever have to walk in TJ's shoes.
On a happier note, based on this new found bullet proof relationship TJ and I decided to marry after all these years. There were those that were happy for us, those that were confused by our decision and kinda just indifferent, and of course we had a few that were just downright displeased. Once again though, nobody and nothing else matters when faced with this. We were married on May 30th and shared it with those who love and care for both of us the most and everyone there was in the category of being happy about our decision. Mostly we heard, "It's about damn time!" I will post some pictures as soon as I get them from the photographer.

Currently, hopefully, his last round of Chemo was Wednesday and his Neulasta shot was on Thursday. He is wiped and does not have much of an appetite. I will keep this updated with maybe sometimes very minor details and sometimes major events in this journey we are on.



  2. God Bless you guys. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily. Congratulations on your wedding - I meant to send a card, but you know how that goes - and I have to agree with most everyone else "its about time"! Only you walk in your shoes. I wish I could have been there. This is my first post to a blog, so I sure hope I'm doing it right. Thanks for starting one ~Loretta

  3. Oh Sand and TJ What can someone say. You know Sandra and I think the world of you, and pray every day.

    Had a great time and the wedding was wonderful.

    Your favorite Brother and Brother in law. :)

  4. My prayers are going to you and TJ right now.

  5. TJ & Sandy, we've had a lot of good times. As I sit here with tears in my eyes I know you are right we can not imagine what you 2 are going through.I've prayed for you since the day I found out. Your story should remind us all of how things can change in the blink of an eye. May be now we'll try not to sweat the small stuff eh ? Love you 2, you know andy thing any time you need some thing I'm less than half a beer away. Wellllll..... I guess that depends who's chugging hu ? Let's have one again real soon. Your friend & neighbour, the crazy Canadian.


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