My life changed dramatically and forever when I lost TJ.

I welcome you to follow along as I adjust to my "new normal".

It is not all puppies and ice cream but it is my life....real and honest.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

You Must Enjoy Little Things & Laugh

Define what makes you happy . . . make sure you're doing it regularly.

TJ and I truly enjoy our mornings. We like sitting on the patio in the morning, drinking coffee and chatting about our plans for the day. We have been together for over 15 years and drinking coffee together in the morning has always been a ritual for us. There was a point when TJ was on steroids and going through radiation that he had a constant bloating feeling and severe heartburn. It was at this point in his treatment that he quit drinking coffee for a bit. I hated it!!! It so disturbed me that "Cancer" had the ability to take away even such a small joy from us and it didn't seem fair. Fortunately this, like most of the other side effects of treatment, passed and TJ is now back to drinking coffee with me in the morning. Because we are both morning people we are sometimes on the patio before daylight but it is wonderful to look forward to that time each day. Recently TJ turned me on to a breakfast food that he ate growing up and we have added that to our morning ritual. This is awesome and anyone that has not had it must try it!! Today I bought strawberries and cut them into little tiny pieces, time consuming but worth it. Put sugar on them and set them in the fridge (I know, sounds normal). Tomorrow morning I will toast a muffin for us to split, butter it and then we put the strawberries on it and lots of the juice that the sugar has brought out in the berries. Awesome!!!

We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh ~ Repplier

It has been almost 6 months since our lives were turned upside down with a cancer diagnosis. While it was devastating, I think both of us have learned so much and even with the terrible week we had last week there have been times when we were able to laugh. Humor has played a big part in dealing with everything happening lately. I really think I have TJ to thank for that but nonetheless we are able to have a good time together in the face of adversity. There are many times that he will say something so off the wall that we both absolutely crack up and as TJ puts it, "we have a good belly laugh". Chemo brain has caused lots of these moments too. Just the other day TJ said to me, "I really don't think any other couple has as much fun together as we do". When you think about that statement it is a pretty incredible thing to say about a 15+ year relationship.

We are not here to see through each other . . . but to see each other through

I promised TJ when he was diagnosed that I would stand by him and fight this beast! Now that his Mother is so ill he knows I am here for him also as he goes through this. In return he put Patsy down for me even as hard as it was for him to do. Our relationship has taken a dramatic change for the better in the last 6 months and for this I am very grateful. I just hate that it took a cancer diagnosis for us to see things in each other that were there all along.

Battle On TJ, Battle On


  1. Sandy, this is such a beautiful post. Thank goodness for the little things in life and it's so nice to hear that TJ thinks that no other couple has as much fun as the two of you. Fun is a big component to a lasting relationship.

    It's funny that you mention the strawberries. I just did the very same thing last week. I sliced up some strawberries, sprinkled it with sugar and let it make the juice. Only I didn't have muffins. I toasted some eggo waffles and put the strawberries in between with whip cream on top. It was so good. Your version sounds really good too.

    It makes me smile to hear about your rituals. :)

    I hope you have a good week. Things will look up. I have a feeling.

  2. A beautiful, touching post, Sandy. Brought tears to my eyes and that is not so easy to do! I'm sorry it has taken such a horrid thing as cancer to bring you and TJ closer together but I suspect you had a pretty great relationship to start with. Thanks for the lovely note you left on my blog about my dad. I haven't even lived in the same country as him for 30 years and still I miss him. Aren't we funny creatures? I hope the pain of losing Patsy is easing for you. Loved reading about your morning ritual. May you continue to enjoy it for a long time to come!!


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